The Birdman Diaries: Tuesday vs Blazers

By Josh Baumgard

LeBron is a stud, we get it. He’s so incredibly good, it has become incredibly easy to talk about how incredibly good he is.

There are other avenues of fascination on this Heat roster as the mostly meaningless NBA regular season comes to a halt for the defending champs. Last season we had Eddy Curry, but this year’s bench entertainment is a little brighter.

Chris Andersen is the Birdman, and last night I followed him like a hawk… Here’s a diary of his every move:

First Quarter

3:23 1st – Andersen checks in for the first time. Note: Joel Anthony can be seen weeping, tracking the vendor down for two Budweisers. 

1:57 1st – Birdman stuffs Jared Jeffries’ layup attempt. He led the NBA in block percentage for the 2009-10 season.

Second Quarter

11:21 2nd – Andersen wildly runs to contest Sasha Pavlovic’s attempted three, forcing the miss. Could there be a greater distraction for a shooter? Must not be any parrots in Serbia. And to think Pavlovic once started on an NBA Finals team. LeBron truly is amazing.

10:59 2nd - Birdman sets four screens on ONE possession, breaking Marty Conlon’s franchise record.

10:47 2nd - Andersen’s closeout on Lamarcus Aldridge’s jumper is not working as well. LA connects on the jumper.

10:06 2nd – Blazer timeout after Ray Allen’s three puts the Heat up 37-35. Anthony gives everyone heading towards the bench a five, but makes absolutely no eye contact with Bird. It’s time for counseling. 

9:53 2nd – Aldridge with another score over our flock of feathers. This kid can play.

9:10 2nd – The Birdman retreats to the nest for some oxygen. He would not return. The Heat would win 117-104 behind stellar play from the Heat’s big three. 

Birdman Box Score: 1 PF, 1 BLK, 6 MIN, 46 SCREENS, 2 LOST FEATHERS

The footage below is from the Nets game, revealing a severe case of some Miller-Birdman bromance…